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Thu, May. 7th, 2009, 04:52 pm
Clutching at straws? Or clutching at AWESOME?

I don't want to be spoiled for the new Star Trek movie, but a friend pointed me to a review that mentioned that the scriptwriters are Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman. I mentioned Orci and Kurtzman once before in reference to Star Trek and utopian fiction, but somehow didn't twig, at the time, that they are the writers of the Transformers movie...

Transformers, even though i've seen it three or four times, did suck. It could probably have been good, if Micheal Bay hadn't directed it. And seriously, tell me how awesome that movie would've been if they had, for example, cut out all of the human-characters dialogue? I mean, none of the characters expressed any emotions, or performed any actions, that couldn't have been replaced with mime. (If you mime something that's superficial and cliche, it magically turns into art. Try it. At the very least, it takes less time and you're not sitting through it, squirming and wincing, for as long.)

This is a YouTube project for somebody with way more time and skill than me.

BUT: all of the things that sucked about Transformers where also things that suck about all Micheal Bay movies - the man has never made a good film. So, possibly, the scriptwriters have far less influence than you would assume. I mean, extract the Micheal Bayness from Transformers (i.e. the elements that Transformers has in common with other Micheal Bay movies), and you get a decent movie. Add more talented writing and care, and it could've been brilliant.

Now, Micheal Bay has never made a good film, but Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtman, despite their association with him, have worked on good TV shows. They were involved in Hercules, Xena, and Alias. Sure, these shows, while among my sentimental favourites, can also be pretty bad when they want to be. But Star Trek is admittedly in the same league, so that tells you nothing anyway.

So... it could be good. It could mean nothing. If you could extract and distill the J.J. Abrams-ness from all his movies and TV shows, i think you actually get something pretty decent - sometimes sloppy, but unlikely to be boring.

Now imagine you could liquify Transformers and boil away all the Micheal Bayness to purify it, and then soak it in J.J. Abrams. Abrams is like, exactly the sort of director who might well think of reducing all the human dialogue to mime and letting the eerie giant-robot-ness take over. Maybe? Well, he'd be more likely to do something cool than... again... you-know-who.

Thu, May. 7th, 2009 10:21 am (UTC)
theastolat

but Megan Fox was hot. Why you wanna take away the hot? *slaps you*

Mon, May. 11th, 2009 10:16 am (UTC)
dissembly

Nobody wants to take away the hot!

Just... shorten it's screen time a little...

Well, how about this. Maybe with more emotive acting and less cringy dialogue, there is more space for Megan Fox's character to express herself through the medium of striking-various-poses?

Mon, May. 11th, 2009 01:29 pm (UTC)
theastolat

In your vision of the new Transformers movie, will Megan Fox be naked when she strikes these poses?

Tue, May. 12th, 2009 12:28 am (UTC)
dissembly

If you like? That can only make it more artsy and ground-breaking. Pioneering a new form of sci-fi nude mime.

Ahem.